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The Old Man's Tale |
Sound of Sirens (Simon & Garfunkel Parody)
Hello Bar stool my old friend
I've come to sit on you again
Because I just caught my wife cheating
Stupid bitch thought I was sleeping
And that little voice that echoed in my brain… soon became
Became the sound of sirens
And as I busted through the door
Only to find that little whore
Was into S&M and group orgies
Throwing parties while I was working
And the vision of the neighborhood around my wife
It just aint right
I heard the sound of sirens
And as he scrambled from the bed
I kicked my fuckin neighbor Ted
Stupid fucker borrows tools from me
He’s got my router bit for mortising
Never seen so many tools crowded in one room in all my life
Or in my wife
I heard the sound of sirens
And I picked up my baseball bat
And swung it at some punk named Matt
I smashed the outside of both his knees
He laid there on the floor grimacing
And with my sites tuned in to the ball gag in his mouth
I knocked it out
I heard the sound of sirens
Punched our mechanic Fred
One of the 3 around her head
Now I see why Fred’s been billing me
Wasn’t just my car he’s servicing
And I’m sure I’ll be going away for a real long time
So keep the drinks coming
Till I hear the sound of sirens
